Adorable, Heartwarming

Ah, isn't he adorable? My puppy, Finn. He's 2 now, but this was his first picture when I got him.


He's still got a ton of puppy energy and is as cute as ever. Just a tad bit older...

And, let's not forget my cat, my baby, who's still as pissed as ever that I brought home Finn in the first place...

Intuition and Death

As I grew up, my mom worked as a hospice nurse. I paid attention to everything, asked tons of questions, and learned more than I think I even realize. One of the things I learned, and I believe to be true, is that people know when they are going to die. A premonition or sense of intuition. They might not be able to tell you, or themselves, but they get themselves and/or those around them ready in their own ways.

So, I find it interesting when my patients talk about death, especially their own. Last week, I had a patient start talking about her impending death, telling me that she didn't think she was going to make it. Medically, there was really no reason for her to say that. Yes, she was weak, but she'd been in the hospital for 3+ months and in the ICU for a solid month of that stay. She'd pulled out of all of that and was one step from going home when she looked me in the eye and told me she wasn't going to make it. It was chilling. She quoted poetry to me, Robert Louis Stevenson's poem "Requiem" which is the epitaph on his gravestone:

Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longs to be.
Home is the sailor, home from the sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

As a therapist, as a medical professional, my job is to get her back to her daily life, to get her home alive and well. I countered with a poem intended to put some fight back into her, using the words of Dylan Thomas "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night."

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against of the dying of the light.

Maybe it was a feeble attempt to motivate her. A fruitless attempt to even try. Maybe she just knew better than I, in that intuitive way that people know, how they are truly doing.

In my remembrance of her, my acknowledgment of her, I leave you with the quote she told me on the very first day we met, as told by her and written down by me that same day...

"They may not be mine - the loaf, the kiss, or the kingdom - for beseeching,
But I know that my hand is an arm's length nearer the stars for reaching."
Anonymous

Friends

I have some of the best friends I could ever hope to have. After this weekend, and the time spent with some of my friends who have known me the longest, this realization hit me hard as I was driving home from the weekend with them.

To Pomeranian, Portobello, Portico, and Palomino,
(LIAR! Er, I mean BULLSHIT! LIAR!)
Thank you all for a wonderful weekend, many laughs, and complete relaxation (even though I'm utterly exhausted) among true friends and a reminder of how truly lucky I am to have your friendship.
Love,
Palindrome

To my antisocial best friend,
I never see enough of, but who lets me come over with whole piles of dirty laundry, asks no questions, and gives me fun stuff. I'm hoping I actually get to see you a bunch this summer at the races around...

To my traveler companions,
Thank for exploring the west with me. For your support in ways I’m not even sure you realize or I can begin to explain. You have helped me heal, learn, and grow in so many ways this past year. I’ll see you soon, and then it’s your turn to visit me!

To my IC gal,
For the pizzas, pints of Ben and Jerry’s, many rides, listening, helping me escape, and helping me find a new place. I will see you soon, and we can do it all some more...

Thanks to all of you and, to those who aren't mentioned, I promise you are not forgotten. Thank you as well.

Shorts

More religious commentary...I'm sitting in the Christian coffee shop, feeding my internet addiction. They have their wireless up and running, which is encouraging, as I have been using the city's free WiFi. It has been temperamental at best. It requires a password to access it, so I get it from the barista. Any guesses as to what it is?

Have you guessed yet?

John3:16

Moving on...

As for the decision making, I have my application turned in for my old job. I have a friend looking at an apartment for me tomorrow. Essentially, I'm playing a waiting game, just waiting for the cards to play out. I'd just like to have things settled. I want to feel settled. I've had enough drama to last me for quite a while.

Updates from this current assignment...

• I've apparently inspired one of my coworkers to pierce her nose. She's 60 and has wanted to pierce her nose since she was 21, or so she says. I find the whole situation oddly amusing. It has caused quite a stir at work.
  
• One of my coworkers did range of motion on a dead guy. I thought this was an urban legend, the infamous joke of the therapist that did range of motion on a dead patient and billed Medicare. Well, this guy didn't bill Medicare, but he did do range of motion on a dead guy. When did he stop? When the mortician came to pick up the body.
• The washer is apparently fixed, although I haven't tried it yet. I don't have high hopes, as it's supposedly been fixed three times now. Instead, I did laundry at my friend's in Bend when I was there this weekend. Will probably do the same when I visit Ms. Trouble and crew this weekend in Seattle. See you soon!

That's all for now. Talk to you all later.

Upheaval

Way more changes in this last week than I ever could have anticipated, and I'm still working my way through them all. My little life's plan for the next couple of months has been shot to hell. Someone described it best for me when she said it was as though my life were in a little cardboard box and someone dumped and scattered it, leaving me to scramble and pick up all those little pieces. That's what I feel like.

My travel contracts have fallen apart - one of my choosing, one not. I feel such a strong pull to return to the midwest, to Iowa. To go home. To recover, recuperate. To heal.

I had planned on returning to school in January. With the events of this past week, somehow it just makes sense to go back to school in August. What am I waiting for? No clue, so just do it, as the now infamous Nike slogan goes.

Now, the decisions I'm left with seem to come down to what to do for the summer. Do I be financially responsible, take a travel assignment, and make some money this summer? Or, do I have fun this summer, find a place of my own, work PRN at my old job that I loved, and enjoy the summer before becoming a slave to school?

Let's hear your votes!

St. Louis

It's been a couple of weeks since my trip to good ole St. Louis, but I have a couple of cool pictures that I wanted to share. The first picture is one that I originally took in black and white film for a photography class. I've enjoyed it so much, and it was such a gorgeous day in St. Louis with an old school friend, I couldn't resist and layed down flat underneath the Arch for the photo op.


The other picture was taken on an outing with my parents to the Botanical Gardens. I love tulips. I have vivid memories of going to the tulip farms in the Netherlands, of seeing the multitudes of tulips, of enjoying their bright colors in fields after fields exploding with them.


Hope you've enjoyed the pictures as I have.

Work Stories

A collection of stories from my current caseload of patients...

* I got called a boy again last week. This is becoming somewhat amusing. The first time it happened was on the dementia unit of a nursing home. (I should probably add that I had super short, spiky hair at the time and was wearing a button down shirt.) It worked to my advantage as this lady thought I was attractive and I could get her to practice transfers with me by pretending to dance. This time, the patient is a smelly, unattractive, scary looking guy who told me that I look like a boy and then asked me if I was offended. (I should add that I now have long hair and was wearing huge hoop earrings at the time.) I found the whole situation both amusing and bizarre.

* My most confused patient today said his first 2 sentences that were appropriate in the context of the conversation. Neither one of them particularly flattering, but highly entertaining, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at him. I walked into his room today, intending on having him practice toilet transfers, so I grabbed his walker. He saw me doing it, and says "God d*mn it, I am not f*cking walking today!" Then, after I managed to see him for my 35 minutes of torture (for both me and him, I think), I rolled him out the nursing station and told him that I would see him again tomorrow. As I was beating a hasty retreat, he says, "I f*cking hope not." His first 2 appropriate contextual sentences.

* I have a patient recovering from a left MCA stroke. He's been very rewarding for me to work with and very refreshing from my largely orthopedic population of broken hips and shoulders. He's been making some good gains in recovering functional use of his right arm. Sweet! But, he's a larger guy and has issues with his shorts binding him in his nether regions. So, I've (apparently) gotten good at adjusting his shorts for him. I had no idea going into this profession that I would become quite adept at adjusting male genitalia, making slings for them, positioning them, and problem solving male issues. The things they don't teach you in school...

* And, finally, for the health link that has the local area buzzing...or clicking...
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/07/spiderboy.ap/index.html

That's all for now. Hope you've enjoyed.

Flaming Liberals and Other Random Tidbits

The washer is still broken...


I tried it because I had no idea if it worked or not, and this was the result. Back to the laundry mat I go...

The other highlights and stories from the week include:

*I'm now known as the flaming liberal at work. I was talking about this with one of my friends from Iowa, thinking that it was pretty entertaining. I'm not conservative, but I didn't consider myself a flaming liberal in such a derogatory way as I was called at work this week. Interesting...We chalked it up to my having a nose ring, being pro-choice, and not a bible thumper.

* My bike is here!!! I forgot to take pictures to share with you all, but it is sweet, gorgeous, fabulous...I love it. So smooth, so fast, so easy to ride. Definitely will be spending some time riding away this summer.

* The washer is still broken...

*My high school friend is here to visit, causing trouble (Miss Trouble), and falling down dunes. We rented ATV's and went up and down the dunes and over to the beach. Terrifying initially, but so much fun.



* Another big decision to make within the week...Some changes in my life this last week. I found out that I can break my next contract if I decide to do so within the next week. My next contract is in a place I've been before, I really liked the area, and there's definitely plenty to do there outside work (biking, hiking, theater, live music, etc). Do I bail and explore somewhere else, somewhere new, or keep the contract? Let me know what you think...

* Have I mentioned that my washer is still broken???

Oddities

Quick stories and highlights to tell from the past days. Unfortunately, just short tidbits and highlights of the stories as having to travel for an internet connection is a pain, but wanted to share some of these with you all.

Still no working washing machine...3 weeks and counting...

Religion surrounds me in this current assignment. I've always been around religion in some way, shape, or form, but never as in-your-face as it is here. Two examples to share (that have nothing to do with the coffee shop from the previous post). A couple of days ago, over lunch with a couple of coworkers, one brought up the pope's decision to say that newborns can go to heaven without being baptized instead of going to purgatory. Before he'd even finished what he was saying, the other coworker interrupted, "That's blasphemy!"

The other story is regarding the recent ruling on partial birth abortions. Another traveler and I were charting when two others walked into the charting room talking about how relieved they were that partial birth abortions were banned. This led to a discussion about how often this procedure is performed and about abortion in general. The other traveler basically asked these two, if it came down to the mother or baby living or dying, what should be done? "They should both die, " said the religious conservative.

Running with Finn this morning, and he stopped to take care of business. The sun's just coming up, and I started to look at all the litter strewn around me. I realized I was standing amid a dump of used syringes and needles. Disturbing.

The vice president from my first travel assignment called me very unexpectedly after work tonight, trying to recruit me to come back and sign on as a permanent employee. Very unexpected. Very flattering.

Lastly, for tonight, my bike should be here on the 3rd!!!